Dr. Linda Nielsen, a professor of education at Wake Forest University, researched and prepared this information for the American Coalition for Fathers & Children, for which she served as president in 2008. Dr. Nielsen is the author of Between Fathers and Daughters: Enriching and Rebuilding your Adult Relationship.
Almost half of the children in the United States are deprived of the lifelong benefits of two parents who share the parenting throughout the first 18 years of their children’s lives. Who are children living with?
* 55 percent live with their mothers and fathers, 4 percent of whom are not married to each other.
* 21 percent live with their single mothers, half of whom are divorced and half of whom were never married.
* 14 percent live their mothers and stepfathers.
* 5 percent live with neither parent.
* 2 percent live with their mothers and their mothers’ boyfriends.
* 2 percent live with their single fathers.
* 1 percent live with their fathers and their stepmothers.
* 0.5 percent live with their fathers and their fathers’ girlfriends.
Fiction: Most children are satisfied with the amount of time they spend (or spent) with their fathers after their parents’ divorce.
Fact: The vast majority of children say they want (or wanted) more time with their fathers after their parents have stopped living together. Kids want more shared parenting.
Fiction: As long as their mothers have enough money, children don’t pay a price for having too little or no contact with their fathers.
Fact: Children with too little fathering are more likely to have problems throughout their lives related to father absence compared to children whose fathers remained actively involved after the parents stopped living together.
Fiction: Most divorced or never-married parents are too hostile to share parenting or to benefit from programs on co-parenting.
Fact: Parents generally cooperate more after attending shared parenting programs. Only 10 percent to 15 percent are in high conflict.
Fiction: Shared parenting is bad for infants or young children because they should not be separated overnight from their mothers.
Fact: Very young children should not be away from either of their parents for more than a few days and are able to spend nights in each of their parents’ homes.
Fiction: When parents share parenting, children are worse off financially because their fathers pays much less child support.
Fact: Fathers who share parenting are the most likely to pay child support, spend additional money on their children, and contribute to college educations.
Fiction: Shared parenting is less important than good mothering because fathers know so much less about raising kids than mothers do.
Fact: Fathers contribute as much as mothers to children’s well-being, even if their ways of parenting are different.
Fiction: Most divorced fathers are not interested in sharing more of the parenting.
Fact: The overwhelming majority of divorced fathers want more time with their children and more shared parenting.
Fiction: Children dislike shared parenting if they actually have to live part-time in both parents’ homes, moving back and forth.
Fact: Children who live part-time with each of their parents after divorce prefer this arrangement to living with only one of their parents.
