SingleDad.com is an online community and resource center for single fathers. The sites features include the SingleDad Diaries, video blogs by SingleDad.com founder and entrepreneur Richard RJ Jaramillo, a 45-year-old twice-divorced father of two daughters and a son (all from his first marriage); Jesse Lozano, a 30-year-old radio disc jockey whos a never-married father of a young daughter; and Jon Graves, a 38-year-old widower who has two young sons and works as a webmaster.
In this SingleDad Diary, Lozano talks about one of the benefits of his relationshipor lack thereofwith the mother of his daughter.
It started with a couple middle-aged guys wondering what to do with their lives. Nothing unusual about that. But these two had been running a venture capital firm together for a decade and found themselves asking this question in 2008, when the financial system was melting down, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were dragging on seemingly without end, and the environment appeared to be reacting to years of abuse by unleashing massive hurricanes and tidal waves.
These two guys, James Houghton and Tom Matlack, both love their wives and kids, and more than anything they wanted to be good fathers and husbands. Yet something else called to them. They wanted to do something important outside of their private lives: Make a contribution; spark a conversation; lead by example in telling their truths. They sensed an underlying tension in conversations with the guys they knew.
So they set out to write a book about what it means to be a good man–not self-help drivel, not book about guys for women. They wanted to compile a collection of first-person accounts that would illuminate the unspoken challenges of being a good man in modern America.
Along the way, Tom and James would start a foundation to help at-risk boys, a foundation that would receive all proceeds/profits from the book and help support places like the Boys and Girls Clubs of America and Big Brothers Big Sisters. They hired an agent, who, book proposal in hand, went to some of the country’s most influential editors.
But publisher after publisher rejected the proposal. “Men don’t read,” they said. “They never read anthologies, and they certainly aren’t going to read an anthology about being a good man!” It was a moment of truth for Tom, James, and the team they had assembled. Together, they all decided to launch a national essay contest to test the waters, to see how men might receive the book. The response was overwhelming. Men from all over the country and all walks of life submitted gut-wrenching tales of their attempts to be good fathers, good sons, good husbands, or good workers. There was no turning back now. If publishers wouldn’t help, Tom and James, decided, they would make it happen on their own.
Along the way, Tom called a friend in Hollywood, Matt Gannon, who agreed to shoot short video clips of a couple of the book’s authors talking about their essays. Perhaps these videos could be used to promote the book. But when Gannon showed a rough cut of the first video, the one about a photographer taking pictures of men being killed during war, James and Tom knew they had more than just promotional material. If men sometimes find it difficult to be honest about their views on manhood, then maybe these video images would force the issue. No man could watch them and remain unmoved.
And so a film was born, along with a website and ongoing discussions at many online networking sites. Later this fall, the film will premier in theaters–as a film should. It will have its first showings at the Institute of Contemporary Art, in Boston, and at the Raleigh Studios in Los Angeles. Visual artist Shep Fairey and Mad Men creator Matt Weiner will participate in a panel following the LA screening. The pieces have fallen into place. The Good Men Project has become something real.
I was sitting with my buddy at Fenway Park freezing my ass off on opening day and the topic of crazy business plans came up. He had a high school friend with a bunch of websites and a boat. His most successful business turned out to be a web service promoting burial at sea. Mostly ashes but he had gotten a special request a few weeks back: take uncle Mike’s body and bury him like a man, at Sea.
After doing some research the captain determined that he would have to go 70 miles off shore, enclose the body in a canvas bag with 50 pound weights. But a burial at sea was in fact possible. The video is something pretty unique I would say.
Our GOOD MAN artist-in-residence, Stephen Sheffield, has an opening today @ 7 p.m. Feel free to drop by. In the meantime here’s a cool video showing him getting some big art ready for the big show!
The Achilles Project 283 Summer Street Boston, Massachusetts