Our first installment of the Moral Compass asked readers to consider the reasons why some men are less-than-perfect fathers. Could it be because raising children is often boring? Of the 204 respondents, 84 percent disagreed with the statement that a low tolerance for boredom leads men to neglect their responsibilities as fathers.
Several women reminded us not to presume that men are bad parents, and both men and women claimed that work often interfered with parenting. The latter response begs the questions of whether a fathers fear of losing his job is greater than his fear of the consequences of neglecting his children.
More than one respondent noted that the poll question speaks to the daily conflicts men face between home and work, friends and family, sacrifice and indulgence. Others observed that keeping the parenting process fresh and fun requires continuous effort that goes beyond just showing up.
Here is a sample of the comments that the poll generated:
Men neglect their child-raising responsibilities for a variety of reasons, none of which is boredom with the task, as raising one’s child is the most interesting and intriguing activity a human being can enjoy.
Id be lying through my teeth if I were to agree that raising one’s child is the most interesting and intriguing activity a human being can enjoy.
Some parents are just not creative enough or too self-centered. Unfortunately, often these parents realize this only when it’s too late. But some are lucky enough to get a second chance with their grandchildren.
Boredom is the wrong thing to ask about. You can tell by the lopsided response. Ask again about distractionswork, household tasks, social life (if present), other kids, parents, other outside responsibilities, etc.and then see what kind of responses you get. I find myself constantly neglecting one important and good thing to do another important and good thing.
Generally, when I say I do not want to play Legos, Monopoly or have a catch it is not because I am bored with those activities, but because I have other things I need to do.
If a dad is bored by child-raising responsibilities, he has a responsibility to do something to change that.
Keep voting and commenting on our weekly Moral Compass polls this weeks poll about Tiger Woods and his indiscretions will be up only a little while longer. Tell your friends to vote, and share the results via your favorite online communities.
If you have a question you want us to consider for the Moral Compass, let us know about it.
