The Good Men Project

"The book has what few other books dealing with this subject have: balls."

David Kohan

Creator & Executive Producer of Will & Grace

December 8, 2009

Splitting Wood

Filed under: Good Men, Guest Blogger — Tags: , , — tmatlack @ 9:13 am

36068010_da523e298f

Guest Blog by Mike Austin

There is something intrinsically fatherly about splitting wood.I’m talking about grabbing an ax, a sledge hammer, and a steel wedge and whacking away at a cut section of log. Can you feel the testosterone?

I learned to split wood from my dad, when I was about 11 or 12 years old.It was a matter of necessity.We had a fireplace, and if our family was going to enjoy it, the wood had to come from somewhere.

Every summer we spent a day in a stand of timber that one of my dads friends owned, cutting down two or three trees. When we took a break, Dad and I sat on the tailgate of his old Ford and ate the sandwiches my mom had packed, and we talked a little. Then we rode home completely tired out. We talked about how hard the work had been, but neither one of us complained too much; we had to show we could take, it I guess.

Early each fall, Dad and I spent another day working together, out back of our house, splitting the wood from the trees we had cut down. We split the wood and systematically stacked it so it would be easy to grab on a frigid winter night. I dont think Dad meant this annual task as any great learning or bonding experience, but I got a lot more than just neat sections of logs for my reward.

We shared a common goal, and that gave us the chance to connect on many different levels. We talked about school, his job, my girlfriends, his childhood (when he was a boy he had to get up every morning and stoke the fire in the stove and fetch more wood), and life in general.I also learned some basic things, such as how being careless with tools will land you in the hospital (I actually caught the ax in the head oncemy fault).

Dad has been gone for more than 25 years. But now I get a great deal of pleasure watching and helping both my sons split wood for our fireplace.We talk and I tell them about my childhood and their grandpa, and I teach them the things my father taught me about the wood, the tools, and life.

If you have the opportunity, I urge you to try this chore with your son or your daughter. The rewards you get will be much greater than a pile of nicely split and stacked wood.

*****

Mike Austin is a voice actor and host/producer of Radio Dad with Mike Austin, a nationally syndicated daily radio feature about being a dad. Mike is the father of six children ages 6 to 18. He and his wife, Lisa, live in southern Wisconsin, where Lisa is a stay-at-home mom and Mike works like crazy.

 

December 2, 2009

Diaries of Single Dads, Part 1

Filed under: Good Men — tmatlack @ 8:50 am

SingleDad.com is an online community and resource center for single fathers. The sites features include the SingleDad Diaries, video blogs by SingleDad.com founder and entrepreneur Richard RJ Jaramillo, a 45-year-old twice-divorced father of two daughters and a son (all from his first marriage); Jesse Lozano, a 30-year-old radio disc jockey whos a never-married father of a young daughter; and Jon Graves, a 38-year-old widower with two young sons who works as a webmaster.

In this SingleDad Diary, Jaramillo talks about the benefits of remaining on good terms with his ex-wife, the mother of his children.

Diaries of Single Dads

 

November 28, 2009

12/1 is Good Men Day

Filed under: Good Men — Tags: , , , , — tmatlack @ 11:51 am

GoodMenDayPosterTwo On 12/1 we’re spreading the word about The Good Men Project throughout the online universe.

As always, all proceeds from book and dvd sales go to The Good Men Foundation, a registered 501(c)(3) charity that supports men and boys at risk. Charitable organizations such as The Boys & Girls Clubs of Boston, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, Trinity Street Potential, Dorchester Youth Alternative Academy, and Exodus Transitional Community are direct beneficiaries.

And so, on Dec. 1, we’re asking people to help in the following ways:

1. Forward a friendly note about the project to your friends.

2. Post one of our photos on your Facebook Wall. Grab one from Flickr, here.

3. Post a book purchasing link to your Facebook status, your Twitterstream and your web site.

4. Invite your friends to become a fan of The Good Men Project on Facebook

5. Buy the book/DVD combination for yourself or as a gift for others this holiday season. All proceeds go to the nonprofit Good Men Foundation supporting men and boys at risk.

6.  If you have a community, religious group, or other non-profit that would be interested in promoting the book or holding a book signing, please contact info@goodmenproject.org

Here is some information about the Book and DVD that you can forward to your friends:

The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood, is a collection of first-person stories that comprise a book and documentary about what it means to be a man in America today. From Pulitzer winners to ex-cons, and pro Football Hall of Famers to just regular Joes, men share their defining challenges, losses and triumphs through honest and simple truths.

“The hope is that these stories will help men come to their own definition on what it means to be a good man,” says Tom Matlack, Good Men Project cofounder. “It’s about the deeper truth of how men think.”

The book and DVD of the film are available as a companion set, and all proceeds go to the Good Men Foundation, which supports organizations that help at-risk boys. It’s a perfect gift for the men in your life or the women who love them. Be a part of something – join what is fast becoming the centerpiece of a national discussion about what manhood means today.

–

Finally, on 12/1 but also throughout the rest of the holiday season, we’re inviting ANY like-minded charity organization to use our book/dvd as a fundraiser. This is how it works:  We have a standard email blast asking people to buy our book/dvd bundle for the holidays. We can track sales by email blast using a promotional code.  So we would split the profit on any bundles sold with your unique tracking code. Please contact Tom or Lisa at info@goodmenproject.org if you are interested in learning more about how this effort can help raise money your worthy enterprise or charities, and get the word out about good men

–

Thank you all, for your wonderful support of The Good Men Project.

 

November 26, 2009

“Giving Thanks” By Tom Matlack

Filed under: Daily Man, Good Men, Good Men Book, Good Men Foundation — tmatlack @ 4:45 am

The Good Men Project just an idea a year ago, became a reality this month. We’ve released our book and the DVD of our documentary film, and we’ve received tons of publicity, including appearances on local TV in Boston and on national TV. But most important, we have begun taking our message of manhood to the streets–to schools, bookstores, community centers, and a prison.

We’ve been to Sing Sing to talk to lifers, premiered our film in front of a standing-room-only crowd of 500 at the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston, and visited a boys’ school in Massachusetts with our NFL Hall of Fame contributor. In New York, we staged an Off Broadway reading with an ex-con who got out of the drug trade and Ivy League grad who left his family’s multinational business. We had another reading in New York on sexuality at a community center for gay and lesbians, and we screened the film at a feminist bookstore.

Co-editors Tom Matlack, Larry Bean, James Houghton. Photo by Aram Boghosian

Co-Editors Tom Matlack, Larry Bean and James Houghton

We’ve presented a wide range of manhood-related topics at an even wider range of venues, but here I want to talk about fatherhood, specifically the effect the absence of a father can have on children. According to the Fathers & Families Coalition of America, more than 28 million children in the United States do not have a dad in their home, and more than a third of those children will not have any contact with their fathers in the next year. The coalition reports that a child with an absent father is 71 percent less likely to complete high school than is a child living in a household where a father is present, and that 85 percent of the youths in juvenile detention centers across the country grew up without fathers. These numbers suggest that boys from fatherless homes can easily fall into the at-risk population.

The Good Men Foundation, the charitable arm of the Good Men Project, was set up to benefit organizations that help boys who are at-risk. The foundation will donate proceeds from the sales of the book and DVDs to such organizations. Sales so far have been brisk enough for us to give thanks to a few groups that do amazing work with at-risk boys. We’re making $5,000 grants to the Boys & Girls Clubs, Big Brothers Big Sisters, the Dorchester Youth Alternative Academy and Trinity Street Potential in Boston, and Exodus Transitional Community in New York.

You can do your part as well: Buy our book and DVD package for the people–men and women–on your holiday gift list. All proceeds will go to the aforementioned organizations, and you’ll be spreading the work about the Good Men Project and helping to foster a nationwide conversation about what it means to be a good father, good son, good husband, good worker, and good man.

4094918683_dd0e6a4a39(2)

Tom Matlack addressing The Belmont Hill School where students asked questions like, “If I do something bad is it still possible for me to be a good man?”

 

November 23, 2009

Next

Filed under: Good Men, Guest Blogger — tmatlack @ 7:53 am

3321121218_1ebc31798fGuest Blog by Paul Kidwell

Another round of congratulations to Tom Matlack and James Houghton for the successful launch of The Good Men Project book. The good news of this book, its wonderfully positive portrayal of men of character, and the inherent messages between the lines (not to mention the terrific writing) continue to spread like wildfire. I’d like to think that this is indicative of the appetite for real men talking from their hearts about the issues that affect us.

So now what’s next for us? We live in a culture that is barraged by information, and today’s news becomes tomorrow’s lining for the catbox. In this what-have-you-done-for-me-lately world, those being affected by The Good Men Project’s message will soon lose sight of its importance and be overwhelmed by the competing noise that drowns out the good work from these men. So I pose the question to all of us men collectively, “Where do we go from here?”

The Good Men blog has presented us with a platform that is more far-reaching than anything we have had in the past, one from which we can continue to shout. Many people have heard the important words coming from this collaborative endeavor, and I encourage all of us to continue to make noise. Now is not the time to rest on the accomplishments of what has been done, but rather focus on what we need to do.

As good as this book is, it’s not enough. Maybe we can look forward to an ongoing series of literary progeny that will continue to carve out a space for us to present and underscore the positive image of men, and get others to listen to our needs and desires. But will another book sufficiently present who we are and where we fit into the world?

I’m not sure, but there is a gnawing sense within me that says we need to do more. Buying and reading the book is great and an expressive gesture of our support for the project. But let’s not be identified and wrongly pigeon-holed as a gender that reaches for the wallet only when it comes to supporting social causes and tackling issues. We have picked up the tab long enough in our lives and I encourage all of us to find new and perhaps more meaningful ways to give. Here are a few things to consider that may begin to mobilize us.

Judging by the media juggernaut in which Tom Matlack and other members of the Project team are involved, I suspect men are reading the book. As someone who works in PR, I understand the influence media have on product sales, so I imagine the book is leaping off the shelves. But this is only the starting point from which other activities should flow.

Reading these essays should also help advance face-to-face conversations with other men, our children, wives, girlfriends, life partners, parents, and work colleagues. We’ve long been accused of a certain reticence when it comes to communication, so let’s finally put this stereotype of “strong and silent” to rest. You want acceptance? You want understanding? Well, start talking about what’s important in your lives so others who make up your personal galaxy will have a clear grasp of your many dimensions and what drives you. Find your voice and let it be heard in your family, on the job and in the community. No place is sacred.

Perhaps a first step for those who are still a bit shy is to read the Project’s daily blog and begin a dialogue with other men online. As a regular contributor to this blog I am perplexed by the lack of commentary coming from readers. (I am as guilty of not regularly offering my thoughts to most of the writing and will commit to making that change.)

I was a guest blogger to a national newspaper and to a national magazine, and on both occasions I had more than 100 comments sent my way. We should be equally connected and absorbed in the daily writings on the Good Men blog, and willing to support, critique, and offer a personal viewpoint.

These writings speak about a shared experience of all men, and we should welcome the chance to offer our thoughts. If we don’t, then we remain as the sound of one hand clapping, as that tree that falls in the forest that nobody hears.

 

Older Posts »