The Good Men Project

1.) Who taught you about manhood?
Family. Many people have told me I was blessed to grow up in a household surrounded by women. I was the only son, with three older sisters. Consequently, my manhood was not founded in rough housing and showing how tough I was.  Instead, manhood was defined by being a good person, loving with passion, and striving for excellence.

2.) Has romantic love shaped you as a man?
Romantic love is wonderful! Romantic love (verses passion or lust) taught me the greatest gift I could find is a life partner, a best friend, a relationship in which each of us is passionate about being with the other in every facet of our lives (from hanging out to intimacy). Often the audiences I speak with have never seen true romantic love and sadly tell me they have definitely not heard a man speak of it. Thus, my own romantic love enables me to share with males and females the positive impact they can bring into their lives by setting high standards for wanting romantic love. A big thanks goes out to my wife, Karen, for this priceless lesson.

3.) What two words describe your dad?
Intelligent and giving.

4.) How are you most unlike him?
I am an unabashed optimist.

5.) From which of your mistakes did you learn the most?
Disappointing my mother with a foolish decision I made in college. The experience taught me to always hold myself to the standards I believe in and to never lower those standards for short-term gains and/or wants.

6.) What word would the women in your life use to describe you, and is it accurate?
Caring is the most common answer the women in my life answered to this question. As to accuracy, that will be decided by how I live the rest of my life.

7.) Who is the best dad you know, and how does he earn that distinction?
You truly known only your own father. When I was a child, he was always in the stands at my events, cheering me on. Now that I’m an adult, he continues to actively follow and support me. Later in his life, I watched him grow from his own mistakes—a valuable lesson to witness.

8.) Have you been more successful in public or private life?
If you absolutely know what you are doing is the right thing, do not care about “public” or “private” life; live your life!

9.) When was the last time you cried?
I can’t remember the specific moment because I do cry. A touching moment in a movie or a special experience in life can bring a tear to my eye. Crying is part of letting your life’s emotions be experienced.

10.) What advice would you give teenage boys trying to figure out what it means to be a good man?
Don’t focus on being a “good man.” Focus on being a good person. Keep life simple and do what is right. Love the journey and fill it with laughs, adventure, and constant learning.

For Bonus Points: What is the your most cherished ritual as a guy?
Giving each of my sons a kiss goodnight (even as two are now teenagers) and knowing I give my own father a kiss goodbye each time I see him leave.

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Mike Domitrz is the founder of The Date Safe Project and the creator of the award-winning DVD Help! My Teen Is Dating and the author of May I Kiss You? In 1989, Domitrz received a call in his college dorm room informing him that his sister had been raped. Inspired by the strength he saw in his sister over the next 12 months, Domitrz devoted his life to changing how males and females treat each other in moments of intimacy. Now the father of four boys and a husband, he produces educational programs and resources for parents of teenagers and for educators and speaks in more than 75 cities each year.